The sudden appearance of all the music of life, revealing itself as a series of notes and variations on small tragedies and heartaches, is reason enough to find a way to escape from the relentless melodies. It was this circumstance that lead me away from my home to find a little bit of distraction in Singapore, where no one could find me. These are the vacations that no one sets out to take, based on a certain degree of loss and the desire to forget, but in the larger picture, they are the ones that can refill the soul and the senses with the things that give the quotidian new meaning. It can always be infused with new scents and new flavors, so that the world we inhabit can come back to life.
I found myself in the middle of a moment where my life was returning to itself again, the wonder and mystery that I once knew as a child. Along with those few fleeting moments where I was falling in love, these were the things that I would draw upon to make new beginnings. For me, it begins in the restaurants, where smell is the distraction that turns out to be the necessary rabbit hole back into an examined life. Sometimes the life we return to is utterly different that the one we knew before, and this contradiction suits me as the real consolation of philosophy.
Here, the things that I wanted for so many years, nicer cars, real estate, and numbers connected to my name, seem to wither like grapes on the vine. Italy’s unique capability to restore according to the needs of the season is a refuge for me. These are difficult times, and sometimes I need to know where the stones in the water are, so that I might be able to get across. That ineffable loss that I felt when things started to dry up reveals itself as a sign of some other secret principle that only knows love, and the rules of love, and everything else seems like a lost imaginary friend, one who never really knew me.
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